Quantum theory of soul
I dreamt that I was somewhere on a journey (a young-childish one) with friends. Then for some reason it disappeared and I was a guest at Francesco Buscemi’s house – except that in reality I had never been to his house, but in the dream I had a room at his place. And at one morning he came in, not happy about something(?), while I had just poured myself some vitamin C, and he asked for it too. I gave him a packet and he started pouring, and it piled up, so I had to shovel piles of this vitamin off the floor.
Then I had another dream, and there I was looking through some books, and I came across a book in which there were simultaneously sections on rigorous solutions to the dynamics of quantum field theory at the neighbourhood of horizons (and on the relationship of that problem to the structure of space-time), and at the same time – these rigorous and complex, but also very elegantly mathematically presented, topics had comments added to them on what their meaning in the individual spiritual life experience was, as a mathematical characterization of the main traits of certain kinds of dynamics of soul. I didn’t know the author, and I was stunned that someone had written such a thing (mathematically it was very clear and professional, with the detailed functional analytic reasonings provided well above the level of my present capabilities, and spiritually it was honest, wise, lucid, and without the unnecessary words). Most of the book was compiled from short sections. I tried to remember exactly some page, to take out at least some detail from the dream. There was a very powerful introduction too. But as soon as I started trying to remember its phrases – it started to blur. I decided that I should check this book on the internet (further in the dream) and also check the author – because I could not believe that something like that could have been published by a serious publisher. I checked that this book was published by a very respectable scientific publisher (like Birkhäuser), although in such a slightly “edgy” series, and that it was not available from the publisher, but could be bought on the second-hand market. Also I checked that the scientific part of this book has been, in some part, printed as a scientific paper in a decent scientific mathematical physics journal, so it is the real thing. I had not heard of this author before. Altogether it was very powerful and strange.
Then there was another dream, like me and other acquaintances were on some ship that was simultaneously a home, and something happened there at some point, like a phase transition in the soul of one of the people, and he became some sort of giant amorphous snake-amoeba, and started killing and devouring the others. Soon there was only one girl and me left, and she tried to fight it physically – directly, and I realised that the only way to destroy it was to condense the consciousness so strongly that the access to a version of reality that would disintegrate this aberration will be found. I started doing just that (perhaps taking some inspiration from this book I read before, but I'm not sure) to “dig to the bottom” of the so rigorous wave of consciousness that destroys this snake and the whole situation. But I needed time for that, so I started to negotiate with the snake, that, if in principle he can already kill/eat me, then let him wait a little longer, since I am solving a very interesting mathematical problem, and it has an objective benefit, much more than my life and/or me as a grub. I have managed to arrange that I will retreat to such a room/microhouse at the end of the ship, and not come out of it – while the snake-amoeba will be doing terrible things on the rest of the ship, changed into its nest.
And then I decided to wake up.
(3.XI.2020, Gdynia; transl. from Russian: 10.I.2023, Brzeźno)